Words are powerful, so we must use them responsibly. Political mudslinging, dark jokes and other damaging speech is legal and seemingly harmless. However, being irresponsible with our words can ruin relationships, dehumanize others, trivialize suffering, normalize toxicity and reinforce ignorance. I wrote this to challenge you — and myself — to use our words to unite and uplift, to heal and help, to educate and empathize. 

I didn’t write this to tell you what you can and cannot say. In fact, I am a certified Grade A yapper, a journalist and a proud defender of the First Amendment. I am also a flawed person who is still learning to tame my own tongue. 

Over time, I’ve learned that embracing my freedoms does not mean abandoning the responsibilities that come with them. I’ve learned that words may not draw blood, but they can definitely hurt in more intangible, insidious ways. They are imbued with the ideas and intent that shape the world we live in, with the power to unite or divide, to create or destroy.

The Holocaust, for instance, didn’t start with concentration camps — it began with speeches and rallies, posters and rhetoric that dehumanized and divided desperate Germans, offering false hope and false glory paid for with innocent blood. On the other hand, the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s was defined by the words that will forever challenge and inspire a nation to unity and equality: “I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ’We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.’”

Think about your own life. The times you’ve confided in others, only to have them use your insecurities against you in an argument, the times you’ve heard people tell “jokes” that made you ashamed or angry. The times others have talked behind your back, called you a demeaning name, or degraded you on the Internet. The times where you yourself have posted something you’re not proud of. 

So words do hurt. And they don’t just hurt. They change our lives. They change the world. 

That’s why I am incredibly ticked off when I hear people calling each other “fascists,” or saying people’s deaths were “well deserved,” blaming each other, or calling each other names. And I’m mildly annoyed — and concerned — when people (including me) say their math test “traumatized” them, or when I hear people make a 9/11 joke for the bazillionth time. 

I bet most of the people who throw the word “fascism” around like confetti don’t even know what it means. I bet a million dollars people would shut their mouths if a Holocaust survivor, or that deceased person’s family, or 9/11 survivors were standing in the room. Whether it’s national politicians (on both sides), internet trolls, or school gossips, getting attention by degrading, demeaning, or dividing others is not okay. Words can ruin lives, careers, relationships. And they can ruin nations. 

I’ve seen them ruining ours. 

I don’t want to condemn you, or anyone. Like you, I am learning. Throughout my life, I’ve said and written things I wish I could take back. I can’t take them back, but I’m learning to move forward, to be more responsible, to be wiser. Now, I want to pass that wisdom on to you so you don’t make my mistakes.

We should think before we speak, and listen instead of speak, if possible. 

We should know the meaning of the words we use, and when to use them appropriately.

We should consider if our words will unite others or tear them apart. 

When we see something wrong, we should explore its nuances instead of resorting to simplification and name-calling. 

We should remember that every word we say, no matter how insignificant we may think it is,  changes our lives and our history forever. 

Let’s change it for the better.