Disclaimer: This story is purely satirical, in honor of April Fool’s Day on April 1. It is not meant to be taken at face value.

Dear Board of Education,

The other day I was all dressed up for school. My friends and I all had our third hour together and we even color coordinated so we could take a picture together.

This is when I realized that Manhattan High School has some serious structural and architectural issues. The classroom we were in had no windows. The lighting in the room was so bad that we couldn’t even turn the brightness of the picture up on the vsco app.

Manhattan High School’s good lighting is something that I want to take pride in. Ever since the 2011 construction on the building, the lighting in the school has increased tremendously. I have found that the best selfie lighting is in the commons between second and third hour, facing east. Another good spot is in A Hall during the late morning and early afternoon. I am sure there are other good places to take selfies at our school, like those huge glass windows on the second floor and maybe the classrooms on the left in E Hall during the afternoon.

Manhattan High School is the fourth best school in Kansas. It is well known for giving students the opportunity to succeed in whatever they do. That is why I am writing this.

Because my goal is to become Instagram famous. It would be nice if I had the support from my school and the sun by having them provide me with natural lighting wherever I go. That is the number one make or break of a good Instagram. Natural lighting is the major key.  

USD 383 is an equal learning opportunity for all, and it only makes sense that I am counted as one of those people.

Sincerely, @LARRY_IS_REAL